I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
17 year olds will be the death of me.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
