That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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