Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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