Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
