Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
