This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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