So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
