i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
