peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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