Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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