So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
