Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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