i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
