very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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