Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
