Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Randomize
