I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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