I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
