I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
