Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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