Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
