Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
