OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
