I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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