I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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