I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
