Me. At least after what I've been through.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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