I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Oh god it's open bar.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
