I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
