i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
