I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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