Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
This is the high leading the old right now
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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