If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
