i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
