Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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