Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
