just survived the first fart of the relationship.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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