You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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