bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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