I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
