Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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