It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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