One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize