zippers are such a cool invention
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
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You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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