I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
