I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
