Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
