Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
