from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Randomize
