We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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