I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.