The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
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Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
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Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you