does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
