He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
