My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
