just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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