pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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