she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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