maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
