absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
