A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize