I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
